I’d Rather Have Coffee With One Person

I’ve never loved networking events.

Put me in a room with 100 people and tell me to “work the room,” and I’m probably looking for the exit.

But put me across the table from one interesting person with a cup of coffee and no real agenda, and I could stay there for two hours.

For a long time, I probably thought that was something I needed to overcome.

I’m not so sure anymore.

I’m an introvert.

That doesn’t mean I don’t like people. I do.

I just tend to prefer people one at a time.

I like listening.

Asking questions.

Getting beyond the surface conversation.

Understanding what someone is working on, what they’re struggling with, or what they're trying to figure out.

Those kinds of conversations give me energy.

Traditional networking usually doesn't.

And yet, for years, I assumed being successful in business meant getting better at things like working a room, making small talk, constantly promoting yourself and meeting as many people as possible.

There’s certainly value in stretching ourselves.

But I also think there’s value in understanding how we're wired and building around it.

Some people are great at walking into a crowded room and leaving with 20 new contacts.

I'd rather leave with one good conversation.

And increasingly, I think that's okay.

A lot of my best relationships and opportunities over the years haven't come from networking harder.

They've come through introductions.

Coffee.

Lunch.

A walk.

Helping someone with a problem.

Following up on an interesting conversation.

Or simply staying in touch with people I genuinely like.

Writing has become another version of that for me.

It lets me put an idea into the world without having to stand in the middle of a room and announce it.

Someone can read it.

Think about it.

Reply if it resonates.

And maybe that starts a conversation.

There are plenty of things worth getting better at.

But I'm less convinced that we need to turn ourselves into different people to be successful.

Maybe the better question is:

How can I build my work around the ways I naturally connect and contribute?

For me, I think that probably starts with coffee and one person.